Telling JOKES

[Emeric]

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".

The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing :

"You can have mine."


http://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M42fb18507e0b0f73f8ed9eec4d9a414aH0&pid=15.1&w=116&h=122&p=0

[Emeric]

Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: Because of the sign on the road.

Teacher: What type of sign?

Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

[Emeric]

They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke :
The first time when everybody gets it,
the second a week later when he thinks he gets it,
the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.

[Emeric]

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim.

When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me."

A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me."

Eventually the preacher drowned and went to heaven.

The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?"

God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"

[Emeric]

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hell.

The Pope explained the situation to the devil, he checked out all of the paperwork, and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem and correct the error.

The next day, the Pope was called in and the devil said his good-bye as he went off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down, and they stopped to chat.

Pope: "Sorry about the mix up."

President Clinton: "No problem."

Pope: "Well, I'm really excited about going to heaven."

President Clinton: "Why's that? It's not that great."

Pope: "All my life I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary."

President Clinton: "Sorry, Your Holiness, You're a day late."

[Emeric]

When was the longest day in the Bible?

The day Adam was created because there was no Eve.

[Emeric]

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSaGWJ0SVPWyJSuB2DbDMynBxXeivTm1 M8lirtbKSK86W1QHs3q

[Emeric]

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT9td8rqFTiPw6TTwSec7fa4w_HJS7Hi 2y-0HK1xQRalQrcaGQRIg

[Emeric]

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRD9lIxjqqEOnFDbguuqkjwZP5_FuFia adI1Ypjw0nzVPWbZYG2

[Emeric]

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQPXdKwqGaKM_GBlt72DyrO7kGawC8YK fj29lvs1JuJY3y8kRWs

[Emeric]

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A: Their balls are just for decoration.

http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/hearty-laugh.gifhttp://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/hearty-laugh.gifhttp://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/hearty-laugh.gif

[TraduccionesJuradas]

Todos muy divertidos.

Gracias por la aportación.


Un saludo.

[Emeric]

Trae tú también ...

[Emeric]

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS6OI9e-WYs8k4Ca_sDMyuB0l-Y1LyIlCLfCym4V3VCoi5whFNfRw

[Emeric]

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT8EeVAJbPqh8H21_9yimn_5lGwAq70r 8Lf41XaMAYAkLaKU9QS

[Emeric]

Bring more jokes !

[Emeric]

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ1979K6WzMyCv-dRmfjzMm2ABLnfwcjoMf4-1qvugI8wgvg87toQ

[Emeric]

https://tse4.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M88238041d392651a23c77b005ea08d01o2&pid=15.1&P=0&w=165&h=161

[Emeric]

When she knows it, she'll kill ya', Bill. :lol:

[Emeric]

Bring us more jokes !!! :yo:

[Emeric]

https://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M4cdf85b2587af0a6bc4ae18be70a204ao0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=307&h=187

[Emeric]

https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M1a05172e908f3ae268a7b28d3ac1d647o0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=305&h=179

[Emeric]

http://rishikajain.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/378349_460234083997765_1605331418_n.jpg

[Emeric]

Steel and Iron

Boy 1: My mother and father are in the steel and iron business.

Boy 2: Really?

Boy 1: Yes, my father steals, and my mother irons.

http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/hearty-laugh.gifhttp://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/hearty-laugh.gifhttp://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/hearty-laugh.gif

[Emeric]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/d5/11/b1/d511b1762c45857e3428e002eb6c15c4.jpg

[Emeric]

http://lefunny.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Evolution-of-God.jpg

[Emeric]

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/da/da3867b6da95e4d81c15c43ebc0d84fee30414fe660dee0eee 5e0bf2b5401f3a.jpg

[Emeric]

http://funnyandhumorous.com/thumb/jokes-about-mother-in-law-5.jpg

[Caracolamarina]

http://comoaprenderinglesbien.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/110.jpg

[Caracolamarina]

http://www.voyaprenderingles.com/images/thumbs/thumb-cat-chistes-c82909da9331ddf7580e16b0c9802e95.jpg

[Emeric]

https://toniandrukaitis.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/img_6459.jpg

[Emeric]

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/a7/ab/4d/a7ab4d8aa1c4a0a2fec6a854ee4aed5f--work-funny-quotes-funny-minion-quotes-hilarious-so-true.jpg

[Kentia]

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/DJM7YYjRLf8/maxresdefault.jpg

[Emeric]

http://theawesomedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/funny-puns-11-1.jpg

[Emeric]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/42/30/d8/4230d81a8929a34ef7023e60be0cf761.jpg

[Emeric]

http://aboutislam.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/2012-08-22-Just-Married.jpg

[Emeric]

You may bring more jokes if you please. :yo:

[Emeric]

Come on !!! :whip:

[Emeric]

Who's next ???????